The Other Side of the Road
by Symbolist
Summary: [humorfic] What happens when an author is bored and decides to switch the roles of the characters of Wicked around? This story.


A/N: So I got bored and decided to write a humorfic. Let me warn you in advance – yes, it is supposed to be stupid beyond all reason and not click in exactly with the show, though it will probably follow the basic lines. Know also that this will not develop a regular update time – it will be updated when I'm bored and in a silly mood – which is actually quite often. I'm not promising quick updates or anything. And this is my first stab at a humorfic, so please be gentle and no flaming. Thank you for your time in reading this rather large and boring A/N.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, places, things, objects, reversed minds, bubble gum, books, coffee, teapots, CDs, pencils, feather boas, wands and/or brooms, or strands of hair in this story. I also will not guarentee that these objects will make regular appearances or appear at all.

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**The Other Side of The Road**

Elphaba flopped on her stomach on her bed and began twirling a strand of her black hair. Her jaws chomped on too much gum and she paused only to blow a big bubble and pop it with a loud... pop. A timid knock came from the door. "Come in!" she cried in a high, shrill voice.

The door opened and a petite blonde entered, her head bowed and her arms clutching a stack of books. Elphaba rolled her eyes at her roommate and rolled over onto her back. "Why do you bother reading those things?" she asked. "They litter your brain and make it difficult to breathe. You'll never need to know history or science after we've left school."

"Wh-what do you mean they make it d-difficult to breathe?"

"I dunnooooo," said the green one. "They just... do. Reading makes me uncoffertamble."

"Uncomfortable," Galinda corrected.

"Whatever."

Elphaba sat up on her bed. "You know, Galinda, you'd look better as a red-head..."

Galinda looked up. "Why do you say that?"

"I dunnooooo," Elphaba replied. "You just would... although it might clash with all that pink. How can you be so shy and yet love pink?"

Galinda shrugged. "It's my comfort color... I've loved it since I was a little girl."

"Oh, I see. Red's my fave color - "

"Fave?" Galinda interrupted.

"Mmmm-hmmmm. Anyway, red's my fave color but, ya know, it would so totally clash with my skin."

"I see..." Galinda pulled out a pair of reading glasses and placed them briskly in their proper position.

"Oh yeah, guess what Gallie - do you mind if I call you Gallie?"

Galinda raised an eyebrow. "It's a little perky..."

"Well, I like it," Elphaba said, pulling the blob of pink bubble gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bedpost. "And Gallie, you can call me Elphaba."

"Um... okay, Elphaba..."

"Anyway, guess what? That Munchkin boy, Biq or Brick or Bek or whatever his name was, he is so totally crushing on you." Elphaba watched as Galinda flushed a deep pink color. "Aw, you're turning your fave color! That is so cute!" The blush was gone. "You're from the Uplands, right?"

"The Upperuplands, but I don't brag about it."

"Why not? I would love to live in the Upperuplands! I grew up on a Munchkin farm... can you say 'blah?'"

"I think living on a farm would be fascinating."

"Well you think wrong. It's boring with cows and chickens and smelly pigs. Now to live in the Upperuplands would be a dream come true - a grand mansion, a fancy, twirly room, a - " Elphaba sat up on the bed, a light in her eyes. "Can I give you a make over?"

Galinda looked up from her book again, her eyes wide with horror. "What?!"

"Can. I. Give. You. A. Make. Oh. Ver."

"No!"

"Pleeeeease? It'll be fun!"

"Elphaba, school starts tomorrow and - "

"So? We don't have homework yet, so it doesn't matter. We've got nothing else to do."

Galinda hesitated. "Well..."

"Come on!"

"Ugh, fine."

"Oooo yay! This is gonna be fun." Elphaba stood and helped Galinda up. "First of all... These glasses have got to go." Elphaba pulled them off and put them on Galinda's bedtable. "Now... let's hair-flip! Watch." Elphaba shook her head left and right, whipping her long hair back and forth. "Now you try." Galinda squinted her eyes shut and bunched her face up as she shook her head furiously. "No, no, no, you have to be relaxed." Elphaba repeated her actions - as did Galinda. "You know what? We'll practice later."

"What else can we do? Hmmm... I could, like, give you a manicure!"

"You know what? I've changed my mind - no makeover."

"Aw... poohead!"

Galinda, who was on her way over to her bed, froze for a moment, glanced at Elphaba, then shook her head as though to clear whatever thought was going through her head.

Suddenly the door burst in and a girl with fringed brown hair and the plainest face Galinda had ever seen came in. But it wasn't the shaggy ends of her hair that surprised the nerdy blonde, nor the plain face with an excited expression on it, but instead the fact that she was in a wheelchair and wore a stunning pair of silver shoes.

"Aba!" shrieked the girl in a hoarse voice. "There's this gorgeous boy who just arrived from Winkieville!"

"Winkie Country," Galinda corrected the girl.

The girl turned, a blank look on her face that told Galinda the wheelchair-trapped girl had not even noticed her presence. "Whatever. But anyway, it's the one Winkie prince, Filero Tie-gyoo-lair!"

"Fiyero Tigular."

The girl looked at Galinda once again, annoyance apparent on her face. "Whatever! But he's the one with that scandalacious reputation - he gets kicked out of every school he attends. Isn't that so Ozmopolitan?" Galinda rolled her eyes.

Elphaba stood. "Like, tell me where he is!" she shrieked. "I've got so many magazines with him on the cover... oh my gosh where is he? I'll probably melt at the sight of him!" The girl in the wheelchair began struggling to turn herself around. "Here, Nessa." Elphaba turned her around - though she didn't show it physically, Galinda was shocked that Elphaba had the mental capacity to turn the wheelchair.

Nessa hurriedly wheeled herself out and Elphaba followed, but not after pausing at the door. "Hey Gallie, you should come meet Filero!"

"_Fiyero!_"

"Close enough."

"I'll pass on meeting a 'scandalacious' boy who is so stupid who 'gets kicked out of every school he attends.'"

Elphaba shrugged. "Suit yourself!" The green girl darted out the door. Galinda let out a long sigh. Gallie... hopefully she wouldn't have to adjust to being called that, but being roommated with Elphaba could mean a great loads of things - especially those that Galinda was not interested in.

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Please review! 


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